Wow, what a big day for George! According to the New York Times at a "hastily called news conference", President Bush stated that photographs (ahh, that would be plural
) taken with disgraced lobboyist Jack Abramoff were not "relevant". I guess my question would be, not relevant to who?
Of course the photos are not relevant to the president. Of course they are not relevant to Jack Abramoff. However, I do believe that they are relevant to the Congressional investigators. I even think, silly me, that they are relevant to the American people.
George, who I think was elected by the people, (I can't remember, are the people in Red states or Blue states?) stated that he has had his photograph taken with "thousands of people that come through and get their pictures taken." Hmmm. I'll have to go through my junk file to find mine. Acutally, let's examine that statement a little closer. The president said that there were thousands who came through and got their pictures taken. Now, help me out Bill Clinton, but if I read that right, he never said that they got their pictures taken with him.
The president went on to say that "having my picture taken with someone doesn't mean that, you know, I'm a friend with them or know them very well. I've had my picture taken with you (meaning the reporters) at holiday parties." My invitation probably got lost in the mail.
The problem with this statement is that he implies that everyone is invited to these parties and that everyone comes with a camera to take these pictures. I guess the security at the White House is a little looser then at the airport. How many lobbyists get invited to the White House for parties. Well, I know of at least one.
The White House (which is, last time I looked, the official residence of the president, George Bush) officials have said that Mr Abramoff also attended some "staff level" mettings at the White House. Perhaps it is just me, but I'd like to know what these "staff level meetings" consisted of and what was discussed. How many lobbyists are allowed at White House "staff level" meetings, anyway? Wellll, I know of at least one.
Let's envision one:
Staff Member (oh, let's just pick one, say, Condi Rice): Okay, let's talk about North Korea. Anybody got any good ideas on what we are going to do with this jerk?
General: I think we should bomb the snot out of him.
Condi (Secretary of State): Well, that's a little extreme don't you think? Who else agrees with this, hands? (Jack's hand go up, waving) Jack?
Jack Abramoff (lobbyist): Oh, I agree wholeheartedly with the generals' assessment. Bomb the snot of out him.
Condi (looking a little confused): Well, Jack, we've talked about this before, but tell me again, why you think that.
Jack: I have one word for you, Condi, and that word is, Lawrence Livermore Labs.
Condi: Actually Jack, that is three words.
Jack: Sorry, I just thought that if I said Livermore you wouldn't know what I was talking about.
Condi: Jack, before I took this job I was the National Security Advisor, remember?
Jack: Yeah, I forgot about that, I got you confused with George. Anyway, I got a phone call from the director down there and he said that the warehouse is getting overcrowded with bombs. He asked me to see if we could find a country to bomb the snotout of to, like, relieve the overcrowding.
Condi: Oh, okay. What do you other guys think?
Donald Rumsford (Secretary of Defense): I'm all for it. We didn't get a chance to use up our stockpile of bombs on Iraq, cowards quit too soon. Bomb the snot out of North Korea.
Dick Cheney (Vice President of the United States):
Condi Rice: Thanks for that input, Dick. Mr President, your thoughts?
George Bush (President of the United States): Ahh, actually, I'm not here. Dick told me to come down here to the Strategy Room. Shucks, I never even knew this room existed. Nice design. Nope, I'm not here in any official capacity whatsoever.
Jack Abramoff: Whoa, "capacity", where did you get that big word, GW?
George Bush: Laura.
Condi Rice: Whatever, look let's get a vote down on this. All in favor raise your hands. (All hands in the air). Okay, let's get it done. Jack, call Livermore and tell them it's a go, okay?
Jack Abramoff: I'll get on it first thing after I contact the Indians.
Condi Rice: Why do you have to contact the Indians?
Jack Abramoff: Got to squeeze so more money out of them, big vote today on the House floor, got to grease some palms, you know, guy stuff.
Condi Rice: Oh, okay. Well if no one else has anything...
George Bush: See, Laura was talking about our sex life and she used the word capacity...
Condi Rice: Give it a rest, George, we went by that already.
Now, of course that meeting never took place. Or did it?
Ta-ta and say hello to Broadway!