Lessons I have Learned In Life

As I now approach my 6th decade I must comment on the lessons that life has taught me. Sadly, they are few as I suspect that there are still many more to learn.

If there is one thing that I have learned from life, it's that I'm not as tall as I thought I was. While I am actually closer to 5'7", and have been so since I was 14, somehow, jeez I don't know where, but I got the mistaken idea that I was closer to 5'10". I once had a partner that was 5'10" and I couldn't understand why she would say that she was shorter than 6'4".

I learned that there may be aliens watching us, but I sure hope they don't gauge our culture by listening to our music. Aliens! Don't invade! Gangsta rap is not the official music of our world! Though the thought of taking out New York City has it's appeal.

I have learned that to cut the grass is useless. The grass just grows back again, and sometimes thicker. I don't shovel snow for much the same reasons. Ditto on leaves. That shouldn't come as any surprise.

Okay, you got me. I'm really Anonymous, you know, all those jokes, poems, sayings that attributed to Anonymous? Me. I wanted to take that to my grave but the temptation was too great not to reveal this. If Mark Felt can be Deep Throat (and Linda Lovelace had a good lawsuit on this one is she wanted to persue it) then I can own up to being Anonymous. Just insert my name in place of.

I learned that death is Nature's way of telling us to slow down. Nasty, but effective.

The grass is always greener on the otherside. But I'm not complaining about that, it's been plenty green on my side throughtout my life.

I learned that sometimes after the horse bucks you off, you have to get up, dust yourself off and go to the house for a rest. I rest gooder than I do anything else. Just ask the love of my life, PZ, she will attest to that, and in writing if you want it.

I learned that I am insane but not insane enought to warrant a stay in the fruit house. Enough so I have to take the medication for it, but not violent. I think. You know how medication is, first you take it and the next thing you know you are in the pokey, wondering, "How the heck did I get in here?"

Politics is fun, but politicians are not. Unless they open their mouths to say something. Then they become fun incarnate. I'll miss that. But not by much.

I learned that in order to have yourself heard you have to talk soft. Many, many, many times if it is too soft. See above.

These are just some of the things I have learned. When I can remember, I will tell you the rest later.

ta-ta from the otherside!