The Problem With Russian Rocks

Reading about Russia's disclosure about the British SPYROCK has started me wondering. The Russians have disclosed that they have a secret surveillance film of Russians uploading sensitive material by lifting up a phony rock in Gorky Park, planted by MI5, British Intellegence (again, the old joke about being a oxymoron if I've ever heard one).

What concerns me the most is the utter disregard for Mother Nature exhibited by the Brits. Do they not know how long it takes to form a real rock. I mean we are talking millions, if not billions of years. You just can't go out and make a rock today and plant it in Gorky Park tomorrow, these things take time to cook.

And, even though the Russkies (I haven't used that term since the 1950's, feels kind of warm and fuzzy) have the goods on the Brits, movies and all I know that nothing will happen. Nothing. Why? Let's say it all together we're dealing with politicians! Basic training for politicians consists of only one phrase and it is worldwide, deny, deny, deny. I don't care if you caught me with my pants down in that fleabag Moscow bordello, sorry, wasn't me; don't know where it is; never saw that girl in my life and you can't take my picture because I'm a vampire and I won't register on film. Tut tut and all that and cheeriio!

Dennis MacShane, MP (Ministry Pimp) has stated that he would have no objections to the new Russian version of the KGB, the FSB, the Federal Security Bureau (a kinder, softer killer) wanted to set up an office in London because, really old chap, nothing sinister is going on. In an extremely cogent statement (not!) Mr MacShane said, "I would have no problems if the Russians wanted to open offices here to support whatever they wanted to support." Figure that one out Bill Clinton. What was not said aloud by Mr MacShane is the if the Russians did open up whatever they wanted to open up to support whatever they wanted to support that they would have to bring their own rocks as all the rocks in England are in Gorky Park; supporting whatever the British want to support, with hollow rocks, or... something.

Later in the day the company that made the rock, the GreyNonDescriptSpyRock company quietly released their new catalogue, England Rocks!

It's said that they got an order from the FSB, but, really, I can't confirm that.

Oh, well, at least I haven't seen Randy Cunningham cry on TV all week. Things are looking up!

Ta-Ta from the otherside...hang in there Tony Blair!